Okay, so here’s why girls don’t (always) get flattered when guys comment on their bodies. Now this isn’t to say that no women has ever enjoyed a comment made about her body under the right circumstances. It’s more about why unsolicited, sexist comments from strangers about their bodies generally make women uncomfortable:
(via: Pinterest)
It’s sickening how we teach women and girls “how to not be raped”, instead of teaching men and boys “don’t rape”.
*Teach girls and boys to “Don’t Rape”.*.
Before ya get defensive… Yes, It do happen… And yes, this is what equality looks like.
Fixed it for ya :3
While we are fully aware that it happens to all genders, it is overwhelmingly women who are raped by men, and sometimes women deserve the focus without this kind of dilution. We know. It happens to men too. Write an article about that, instead of making comments on this.
I’m a woman who has only ever been molested by another woman. So?
And there’s the mistake: we don’t know for certain that it’s overwhelmingly men raping women. And why? Because instances of women raping men are massively under-reported, and seldom taken seriously even when they are. For all we know, the figures may in fact be remarkably even – and that should come as no surprise to anyone, since evil lacks a gender.
Perception is a powerful distorter of reality, however, and women are told by society at large, repeatedly, that they’re more vulnerable and more victimised than men are. Unfortunately, the feeling that you’re vulnerable is something that one radiates; and that’s something that predators home in on when choosing their victims. So by telling women they’re more likely to be victims, we are at least partially making that true by default – by filling them with the very fear that makes them more likely to become a target in the first place.
That’s not blaming the victim, by the way – that’s blaming the mechanic that creates easy victims of people who might otherwise avoid being victimised through their own social self-confidence. It’s the same mechanic that allows bullies to home in on schoolyard or neighbourhood victims, male and female alike. We all know who’s to blame for bullying, just as we all know who’s to blame for rape – the perp exploiting this mechanic. So let’s deal with the mechanic, and teach people regardless of their gender that they’re more likely to be victims if they believe that they are, and less likely if they engage the world with more resolve and preparation and less fear.
“Teaching men not to rape” is a common catch-cry, but is based on politics rather than facts. Where empathy is taught to and demanded of all children, the foundation has already been laid for both men and women to not engage in rape. Where the mechanics of consent are evenly taught without blame on either side, the foundation has been built upon appropriately.
Weight the equation against either sex, however, and you lay the foundations of fear of the other from an early age – and that never ends well. Those who learn and embrace empathy DON’T RAPE, regardless of their gender; those who reject empathy do, regardless of gender and no matter how much you hammer into them that they shouldn’t. It’s that simple. So hammering a punitive and guilt-inducing “Don’t Rape” message into kids of either sex is totally ineffective and utterly pointless – whereas catching juvenile sociopaths regardless of their gender and treating them appropriately before they become a danger is not.
So much this!