This is an interesting little thread about men and porn (#notallmen of course, lol). Their theory is that porn is distorting these men’s view of women. They’re now only attracted to a caricature of women:
(via: Pinterest)
Men and Porn
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There definitely are men like this. And yet this theory assumes men had nonsexist views of women’s bodies prior to about 2000, when internet porn became more easily accessible. A quick glance at history will show that this is not the case.
“Consent” wasn’t even a concept until the 1960s at best. Male doctors repeatedly “discovered” the female orgasm at least 3 or 4 separate times. If you had a time machine, I can’t think of any time in history you’d want to go back to as a heterosexual woman.
“Porn” here is a scapegoat. What we really are talking about is sexism. Erotic materials may or may not reinforce sexist attitudes and beliefs, the research on this is actually quite complicated. But in general, this is the best time in human history to be alive as a sexual being. And we also have a lot of progress to make.
It’s interesting that you pick up on internet porn specifically. One of the things I’ve seen referenced a number of times in both the popular and academic press is how the rise of internet porn, especially that produced by people outside the traditional porn studio system, has changed perceptions. Before online porn you were pretty much limited to the top shelf magazines in the newsagent and whatever the local video library had. Maybe you’d brave an ‘adult bookstore’ and pay through the nose for something a bit different, but you were still beholden to what some producers somewhere decided was erotic. The performers and models mostly conformed to a specific look, the action mostly followed the same beats. Porn was largely homogeneous and if you didn’t get turned on by it then you were clearly defective.
Then along came the internet and the little islands of niche content were available to everyone, suddenly people who were a bit off mainstream discovered that there were others who liked the same things as them and they were just different, not defective. Pre-internet the only real choice (sticking with heterosexual porn aimed at men since that’s the angle of the article) was a tanned woman between the ages of 18 and 28 with big blonde hair and surgically enlarged breasts having sex in 2-4 positions with the only real variation being whether she’s dressed as a nurse, schoolgirl, maid or just in lingerie. Post internet that’s still there but if you prefer pale red heads with small breasts and straight hair dressed in jeans and a tank top then that’s there as well. Maybe what you like is a brunette woman dressed as a school girl telling you off for being an old perv, or you prefer older women with bumps and saggyness that younger women don’t generally have or your fantasy is being able to swap bodies and experience sex from the other side, internet porn has you covered. Maybe you’re outwardly heterosexual but secretly want to get with another man, there’s content for you out there.
I’m not saying porn is a good thing, just that the internet has given people much more variety than was previously available.
Hmmm, I’ve known several men who actually liked their female friends and lovers for intellectual reasons. I’ve never experienced anything like this.
There are men who see you beautiful. Men that love your nose, your hips, your knees and everything else. Men that do not comment on you getting weight when the years pass and make you feel loved in pijama days.
There are men who can tell you that they love you as you are and you can believe them.
The others deserve getting dumped.
Do not look back.
Look forward, find men who loves you.
Today’s modern women can do it all themselves financially with a profession and are emotionally independent, men aren’t needed to make life a success like men need us to be successful. Being needy sexually or otherwise is a turnoff!
The happiest demographic in the USA is single childfree professional women. Men do better- show some control over your impulses. Try helping and being a decent human without the transactional desired sexual favors. Men try being less disagreeable, needy and lecherous because your behavior is disgusting and perceived as rapey.
Online dating is for lonely, horny dudes who are living lives of despair and just hoping some woman out there still will give them what they want. Nope- we are too busy living the single life and happy to be free.
Agree with you until the online dating dig. I see nothing wrong with it, definitely not worse than meeting in a club/bar/speed-dating/whatever.
Article just shows it’s written by someone who knows nothing of porn and not that much about men.
1) there is pretty large variety of different bodytypes in porn
2) men mostly prefer narural looking ones.
3) porn is like action movies we know it’s not real and it’s not supposed to be.
4) it’s like claiming “do these women even like men when they just watch superhero movies with chris hemsworth?” Strawman argument
5) I mean calling women who choose to modify their body “caricature of a woman” is pretty disgusting and insensitive. Pretty ironic to claim moral highground from that position
Women refusing to acknowledge that it is women that created this problem.