Sandra Newman tweeted these stories about her experiences working as a professional gambler as a women. While this thread is disappointing, it’s not terribly surprising: 😒
Source: Sandra Newman
(via: Geek Girls)
Being a Professional Gambler as a Woman
I don’t think this is universal, as far as gaming goes. I’ve been playing both since the 80’s with both sexes, and I don’t remember anyone being especially patronizing to the girls beyond granting them pretty privilege. There was never an unwelcoming air to it. It’s just one of the myths that goes with geekdom, like the one where they don’t have sex. Geeks do have sex. With each other. As far as being a professional gambler causing dating issues, it might have something to do with the fact that you moving through a hustler’s underworld, which could be intimidating to squares and involves spending a lot of time in douche-rich environments.
Did you seriously just
1) claim that girls women aren’t treated badly in gaming because YOU as a guy never noticed it?!
2) mansplain this gambler’s entire experience to her?!
Dude, you are so part of the problem!
Guy’s name is Chad, ’nuff said.
Okay; so you begin your long comment with the statement, “Anyone who doesn’t like misandry shouldn’t read this.”
Interesting.
Now, imagine that I as a man had started such a ramble with the words, “Anyone who doesn’t like misogyny shouldn’t read this.”
How tolerable would my words have been to you, or to any other woman, as women? Or even to the great many men who aren’t misogynists? I’m guessing not very tolerable at all; and rightly so. Because they’d reveal my desire to be sexist as f*ck, and that’s simply not acceptable behaviour.
But like all too many feminists, you seem to believe that the same rules shouldn’t apply to you or other sexist women like you: that you shouldn’t be called on your own blatant sexism just as fully as any man would (and should) be.
If you have a problem with sexism in your gaming group, then leave it and find one that isn’t sexist. There are plenty out there; I for one run a completely non-sexist table, and both play and allow transvirtual, transsexual and gay characters (and in the latter two cases, players) without the least qualms. I tolerate neither misogyny nor misandry; nor homophobia, nor racism, nor any other form of prejudicial garbage at my gaming table. Jut as I tolerate no such thing in any other facet of my life. It’s a simple solution.
However, since you express a desire to be blatantly sexist yourself, I’d suggest that this really isn’t your problem at all.
Rather, I’d suggest that you don’t like the way the sexism of the misogynistic comments coming from the men in your group highlight the disgracefulness of your own misandric comments and attitudes. They hold a mirror to you, and you recognise the ugliness in your own soul that this mirror reveals. But rather than face the truth and better yourself, you have instead decided to add an extra layer of misandry to your attitude rather than come to the conclusion that you need to do better; to be better.
Consider this a wake-up call. Stow the bad attitude to half the people on the planet, and start treating the men in your life and your community with the same dignity and respect that you demand they show you. Because respect is earned, and so is contempt; and it’ll be the latter you get until it’s the former you give.
bro hush. no ones reading all that
“Gaming group”? “characters (and in the latter two cases, players)”???? Do you realise that you clearly didn’t even READ her text properly?!?!?!
You are one of the “women can’t be professional gamblers”-guys she is talking about.
No I’m not; I’m one of the “you get what you give” kind of guys.
There’s no problem with her being a professional gambler; more power to her. There’s every problem with her demonstrating towards men the very contemptuous behaviour that she complains about men demonstrating to women – that’s hypocrisy, and it’s insufferable. If you want respect, then show respect. Because if you give sexism, then you have no room for complaint when you get it straight back.
And yes, I’m a role-player, and I run a different type of gaming table. But the issue of respect is universal, regardless of what’s played at one’s table or whether profit is involved. Misandry is disgusting, just as misogyny is, and NO-ONE gets a free pass for either behaviour around my table.
If you can’t find a professional poker/blackjack/baccarat table which insists on politesse, then you’re not playing with professionals. If they’re letting you get away with misandry, or engaging in their own misogyny, then they’re not professionals.
Professional games are ruled by decorum, plain and simple – because they’re professional. And in such games, detestable behaviour is grounds for being driven from the table. It’s a violation of the rules. So if you or anyone else at the table is engaging in it, and getting away with it, you’re NOT playing a professional game with professional players at a professional table. You’re playing high stakes with jerks, and being a jerk yourself.
She was a blackjack player, not a D&D geek you illiterate.
Difference of game doesn’t equate to a difference of meaning behind the terms “respect” and “hypocrisy”. No-one gets to excuse any form of bigotry or prejudice, be it racism, sexism or whatever. She doesn’t get to say “excuse my misandry”, just as no-one man out there gets to say “excuse my misogyny”. Neither are excusable behaviours or attitudes, so neither will be excused.
And just so you know, being a roleplaying ‘geek’ actually implies LITERACY to a spectacular degree – as well as a command of strategic thought, creativity to the nines and a significantly above-average intelligence. As does a long-form, thoroughly explained rationale with flawless grammar and spelling. Which makes both quite unlike a single-line response containing not one but two different terms of insult.
Do try actually considering the argument, rather than finding any old reason to dismiss or ignore it. I know it’s uncomfortable for you to imagine that women are just as often capable of bad behaviour and objectionable attitudes as men; but that’s the truth of it. And imagining that women aren’t is to insist that women have lesser agency than men do; which I believe is exactly what feminists are supposed to be claiming is untrue, is it not?
hmmn, I must be a strange monkey. Because… hot 20 something, with a super power like that? I would have been all over that, because it shows intelligence and coolness. Then again, I’ve never been one to think that women are inferior just because they are women. Also, where was the misandry at? I must have missed it.