These women shared their sad stories of having their father’s say shitty, misogynist things to them about how having all girls is a “nightmare”, or telling their daughters they can’t do things because they’re female, etc. I get that sometimes people are just joking around about this, but these childhood stories seem seriously sexist and just sad. Also even joking like this is deeply rooted in sexism against women. Parents should never put their kids down in this way or make them feel less than. This is just sad and I hope as a society we can do better.
(via: The Feminist Project)
Have you ever experienced anything like this? Leave a comment below!
Sounds like nightmare parents. You can only do better and break the cycle. It’s not often you can get the parents to stop interfering kids development and causing the damage. I will say though that the girl/boy thing occurs across both sexs. A few of the situations where validation or different treatment would be key are incredibly sought after by both boys and girls. Getting that feedback and recognition is craved.
My father once, in my hearing…as in I was right next to him…made the following comment. Someone said “I heard you finally had a son.” (Three girls before that) and his response was “well, you keep trying till you get it right.” Fortunately, as an adult, I was able to talk to him about that and got a sincere apology (no “I never said that,” or “that’s not what I meant”) but a sincere and heartfelt apology. It was nice to hear, but as you can imagine…the years in between were rather…trying.
If the dad wasn’t behaving like a total asshole all the time, then perhaps the women around him would be in a better mood…
This is so hard because I hear it ALL THE TIME as a father of two daughters. I get pissed because I love my girls but I also feel tremendously guilty because I did want a son as well as a daughter. But that’s not to say I am disappointed with the people I got. I teach them all I know. I love them dearly. It hurts to know there are people who will never believe them equal simply because they were born female. Some of the comments come from your own family. When we found out we were having girls I was distraught because I knew the conversation that was coming. Sadly my father didn’t disappoint: “well, so much for our family name”. He had no brothers, and I was his only child. So it was up to me (as he told me from the time I was a little boy) to have a son and continue on the family. I was crushed as I knew I’d disappointed him but that turned into anger where I didn’t speak to him for months. Our babies conception was pretty much a miracle; we were not likely to have more. How could you be upset at the announcement of your grandchildren?
Raising children isn’t easy. I’ve said to hell with gender norms, but I wonder is that me being modern and progressive or is that me not wanting all my knowledge of sports and war and martial arts to be lost forever? They still love tons of “girly” stuff as well (Mom made them Swifties and as much as I love seeing her make conservative people squirm I just can’t get into her music) and I just watch them grow up and it’s special to see. I’m not attaching my name to this because I never want my girls to know there was a point when their family was disappointed in them. I am ashamed of it. And as far as all that “men with all boys tend to die cold and alone” I don’t want my daughters to spend the best years of their lives caring for me in my dotage; I want to take them on adventures until they take me on adventures until I can no linger join them and then I want to hear the stories. May the last words of my epitaph be “and his daughters were greater still…”