This viral Reddit AITA thread asks “Am I the asshole for not answering / correcting patients when they don’t call my by my title?”. Here’s the story about how a doctor expects to be called by her title, but patients keep calling her other things. She’s has noticed that her male coworkers are called “doctors”, but the female ones were called “senoritas”. Her work wants her to stop correcting people, but she just wants respect. Who do you think is the asshole here?
Source: r/AmItheAsshole
So who is the asshole here? Let us know what you think in the comments below!
I would say YTA if this were just about your ego, but it really isn’t. It is also about deeply entrenched sexism that will never change if people don’t actively try to change it.
It ‘could’ be ego. Ego in of itself isn’t Gender Locked to males. (Have you met Fake-Doms in the BDSM Scene? Very egotistical and think they know it all. How about female conspiracy theorists? Also very egotistical. Just like their male coutnerparts.).
Now that we learned a small part of realism. Let’s focus on the other topic: Yes, Sexism is probably the core issue. So, how do we, as a society, fix that without it becomming fake-feminism (As in, Twitter or Powermongering Femnazis) and have a way of proper equality that both sides of the coin are no longer sides of a coin but rather a unifired whole?
one way we could start combating sexism is by not “correcting” people who object to it by pretending that they said the OP’s ego wasn’t involved (or that women can’t be egotistical) when they actually said her ego wasn’t the whole issue.
Ego is never actually separate from wishes, however, OP has earned the right to be called by that title and is not the asshole for wishing to be treated equally and to be properly addressed. Habits sometimes take a long time to break. Sometimes the generation actually has to age and die off before the change occurs. Some people don’t have the capacity to change with the times.
Absolutely NTA. You’ve earned your title, and the sole reason you’re not being accorded it is the fact that you’re female. You have every right to insist, and the clients have no right to expect that they can refuse to use it. That refusal is disrespectful, and you have a right to the respect you’ve earned, either within your workplace or outside of it. You are a doctor; they must refer to you accordingly, and you must hold them to that standard.
In the end, this isn’t a question of your ego, but that of your patients and fellow clinicians. Those refusing you your title are arrogantly assuming they have the right to treat you as less than you are; and if they feel they can do that to your title, they’ll do exactly the same to your expertise and advice. Those co-workers insisting that you go along with this disrespect are too deficient in self-respect to be similarly refusing of such poor treatment at their client’s hands, and their clients will be showing their advice that very level of disrespect precisely because they’re practically inviting them to do so. Your co-workers may think that you should be as willing to accept such disrespect as they are, but they’re fooling themselves: they should be as unwilling to accept that disrespect as you are.
The patients have to learn that they came for the help of an expert, and they owe that expert the due recognition of their expertise. The doctors need to hold them to that level of respect, consistently, because they can’t expect patients without respect for their due titles to show any more respect for their expert advice. And if the patient doesn’t respect their advice enough to use their due titles, then you’re being ineffective as a clinician in getting through to your patients, and reducing your own effectiveness as a doctor.