@W_Asherah tweeted this insightful thread about how some men have a tendency to respond negatively to everything a women says. They do this by refuting, saying no, or just being generally negative to anything women tell them. And constantly putting up with this sexist and demoralizing behavior is bad for mental health. Most men who do it do so without even realizing they’re doing it. That’s why she’s been asking her male friends to pay attention to see if they’re inadvertently doing this. Even if it’s just all the little things like the examples she’s provided:
Source: @W_Asherah
(via: Outside Voice)
Wow. I never had someone put into words exactly what I deal with constantly with my husband. It’s always a debate. It’s always constantly anxiety. I tend to do a lot of things in secret just so I don’t have to have a debate with him. More than once I’ve had to buy the thing or change a thing and later he loves it and I just have to quietly pretend it was his idea all along.
You’ve all hooked up with the wrong men. I am 100% supportive of all the women in my life. Maybe that’s why I have so many wonderful women friends. It kinda bums me out that I’m getting lumped is with a bunch of bums, but sadly you know no better.
Bill, you just reinforced the exact idea behind this. Refuted, blamed, and then essentially called women who experience this dumb (“don’t know any better”).
Do some self-introspection…or don’t. Your choice. If you truly believe it isn’t about you, then *it isn’t about you* and your comment isn’t necessary… either empathize or move along.
I’m sorry, Bill, but the correct answer is, “I didn’t realize I was doing this, but now that I’m conscious of it, I will try to do better.” As a parting gift, you will receive a free subscription to The Hidden Brain podcast by Shankar Vedantam.
But seriously, guys, we need to be better and we need to teach our sons early. I know I’m guilty of doing this unconsciously, but I continue to try to be more aware of the things I am about to say.