I looked this up, octopus wars are 100% true! Octopuses are fighting over a patch of seabed in Australia’s Jervis Bay that scientists dubbed “Octopolis”. They appear to be fighting a territory war over the area using scallop shells as projectile weapons. They’re shelling each other. War is shell.
And here’s a silly comic by Dami Lee based on the above interaction:
Is Octomom safe?
Bugger. What if one side crept out to land and stole the spicy capsule off the back of that truck and they’re now developing nuclear weapons from it? They’re clever enough to do that, you know.