Here is an awesome list of practical and combat ready female armor from film and television. There’s nothing wrong with fantasy armor, whether it’s boob plate, skimpy, chainmail nipple pasties, etc, it’s just fantasy and it a fun and sexy aesthetic. But when it comes down to realism or doing actual battle you better believe women want full coverage and real armor. So here’s a few badass examples from popular movies and tv shows of actresses wearing practical armor that would actually protect the wearer rather than just distract the attacking men:
So who else should be on this list (remember it has to actually be practical female armor)? Let us know in the comments below!
Some of these are good. Others… no. I’m sorry, but just because your armor isn’t overtly and obnoxiously sexist doesn’t mean it can’t still suck.
Brienne’s armor: Fine, though it is a bit rough looking.
Muriella’s armor: Absolutely not. Those pauldrons, the gap in the side, the gorget being THINNER for some reason- no, this sucks.
Elizabeth: Fine, I think?
Alice: …okay-ish? I question her ability to bend at the waist in that.
Eowyn: Absolutely perfect, only thing missing is the helmet, which we know she wore.
Mulan: It’s gaudy, and again I question the ability to bend. It’s great ceremonial armor, but I don’t think it’s practical.
Joan of Arc: Again with the bending! What is with these oversized breastplates?
Victoria Celestine: Maybe? The bending area is obscured, so I’ll give it the benefit of the doubt and assume articulation.
Morgause: Girl, where is your chest piece? I mean it’s fine, but why put plate on the arms and not the torso?
Snow White: Obscured again, but it looks like it ends high enough to enable bending. She certainly seems to be able to ride just fine in it at least.
Marion Loxley: Wonderful, and there’s even a helmet.
Queen Maud: Again with the bending, but even more importantly, where is your arming cap, girl? Do you ENJOY having chainmail links driven directly into the skin of your forehead? Do you?
Susan Pevensie: Gets a pass on the bending because it’s leather and therefore probably flexible. Armor is light, but then she is an archer. Passing grade.
Joan of Arc again: Can’t see the bending area, but by god those pauldrons. No.
Lagertha: I cannot pinpoint why this sucks, but it does. I think it’s the way the chainmail doesn’t connect on the sides? Whatever, it doesn’t work.
Galadriel: Fine, though a borderline case for the bending issue. Needs a helmet.
I’m sorry, a number (hell, most) of these fail the practicality test. Not for the armour design, but for hairdo reasons. If you’re wearing armour, your hair needs to be cut short, or worn up (at the very least, tightly braided, and wearing a surcoat/jupon over your armour). Anything else, and you’re just begging to get it caught in your armour as you fight. I can guarantee that at least three of those women will have needed an appointment with a hairdresser after taking the armour off (assuming they didn’t need to get cut out of it, and weren’t wearing a wig for the role).
Interesting point! For character design, do you think having a smooth leather jerkin over it or a cape would cut down on the hair catching? Obviously the practical idea would be to have a helmet but if it gets knocked off, is it just the chainmail that would catch on it do you think?