Barsoomisreal posted this epic original sci-fi story titled “The Humans Answered” on r/HFY (Humanity, Fuck Yeah!). HFY is a subreddit for all media exhibiting the awesome potential of humanity. They welcome sci-fi, fantasy, and all other stories with a focus on humans being awesome! This particular story is about an alien civilization at war in a galaxy where humans are known to be the most dangerous and feared race. Trust me, this story is worth the read, and is not your usual space orcs content:
Source: Barsoomisreal
(via: Imgur)
Excellent
Absolutely incredible.
The last words that the Sleen Empire, Jandis Collective and the Dolan EVER heard was, “Payback’s a bitch!”
I want a book series out of this.
If you enjoy this, please read The Excalibur Alternative by David Weber.
MAKE THIS A MOVIE
I see the Dolans as being those frog species from Phantom Menace, their leader was Brian Blessed, just off the visual of the Dolan ambassador laughing in the faces of the humans…but then, I see Jav’een as *Mr. Krabs* yet it works LOL
[Probably because I may *see* him that way, but imagine his voice being the Clancy Brown of the Kurgan in Highlander, or Lex Luthor, and read that plea again…I get GOOSEBUMPS]
I like this within this reverse Independence Day vibe it has. We came out to play, tried to get along, got bullied, then the bullies just took it too far, and we snapped. Bloodied noses, bit the recess lady’s breast, etc. Told the bullies to fuck off because we showed them we weren’t gonna play nice anymore, and the same to all the races who just sat back and used us as the butt of their jokes, and anyone who thought we were bluffing got the galactic equivalent of #FAFO.
CENTURIES (Millenia?!?) PASS. We’re the Big Bad Wolf of the galaxy, SlenderMan, I wouldn’t doubt we are the Devil itself to the religions of some species.
[Forgive the tonal shift, but it’s how my synesthetic mind works]
Jav’een just pulls up on Karl’s front door and pleads with him to help him get his final Scout badge, and reminds him that he, once, was going to be out there, part of the larger world, until things went sour and he ran away by just not going anywhere anymore.
And now, Jav’een comes back with Death itself, not at his heels…but riding alongside, and the galactic plumbing system is about to have its limits tested like never before, as well as any form of trousers. LOL.
This is it exactly. The exact vibe o was going for
I love the idea of ships blasting thunderstruck as the last thing an entire planet hears before the orbital bombardment begins
Nah my dude, it’s 100% gotta be fortunate son
I kind of like the idea of the song being Bodies.
War Pigs
Dear god continue this please
I really enjoyed this story,
Have read it twice
Balkan ship returning to Balkan space, where a battle with the Threen is in progress… “This is Pilot Jav’een of the Balkan Empire. I am returning from Human space with a message to all Threen ships. RUN!”
Hell yeah.
More!
Those are the five words that the rest of the galaxy probably did not want to hear. “The Humans Answered and Returned”
“We’re BAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!”
Either that or “Hello BOYS!! Remember US?!?”
That was excellent!
If there was a book made I’d read it. This was awesome! Seriously! I need to know what else happens!
Turn this into a book. A single book. With a beginning and ending. Not a furshluggener series.
And then what happened!!!!! I need to know!
Jav’een’s ship was repaired in hours. Once the damaged parts were scanned and the plans for them were translated, the UES Kavik’s 3D printers went to work on new parts. The battle group used this time to interview Jav’een and download his ship’s logs. They learned all they needed to know of the Threen. As Jav’een was transferred to the medical bay he overheard a female voice directing actions of the crew and shuddered at one phrase, “scorched earth protocol”. The humans had been nice enough to upload their languages to his translator so communication would not be an issue. These hulking hairless, mostly, fleshy beasts did not seem like the monsters in the night they were made out to be but Jav’een was grateful for a meal and a comfortable place to recuperate. Upon boarding the UES Kavik he had been scanned and a blood sample was requested, he was informed it would help the humans heal and nourish him while battle plans were drawn up. The food he was given did not resemble anything he would ever call edible as it was just a beige paste with little smell or taste. He happily and greedily devoured it as his food stores had ran out days ago. After his meal and medical check Jav’een was invited to the bridge to meet captain Felicity Amores and her command staff. The bridge was dark with the only lighting coming from consoles that displayed unreadable data to Jav’een and the humans seemed stiff for their otherwise fleshy outward appearance. Captain Amores informed Pilot Jav’een that the battle groups plans were all but finished and a jump would be underway soon after. Now, Jav’een could tell the humans were far more advanced than his species but he was about to find out just how much more. Stunned at the speed at which battle plans could be mustered and the down right arrogance and audacity of the humans thinking a no more than 6 fleen (around 3 human hours) old plan could even be registered as a battle strategy, Jav’een expressed his concerns as respectfully as he could. Captain Amores did something strange with the large orifice at the bottom of her face (he later learned it was called a grin) and issued a singular command,
“All hands, prepare for jump.”
There was an audible buzz from the ship and everything seemed to slightly vibrate beneath Jav’een, puzzled, he allowed himself but one question of the captain,
“What is a ‘jump’?”
“We have moved beyond FTL drives and now utilize a jump drive, it allows us to connect two points in space via micro wormhole and ‘jump’ almost instantaneously between them. We will be at the Threen homeworld in less than 5 minutes, or about 10 of your relts. Our scout ship is docking as we speak, since we downloaded the information from you ship and learned the location of the Threen homeworld we have been surveilling it. We have all the major military installations and key strategic points logged in to our computer. We have analyzed the Threen combat capabilities and they will not be able to repel us.”
Jav’een could hardly believe what he was hearing, it took many of his planet’s revolutions around its star for his people to even damage a Threen frigate and now the humans were going to wipe out their home world with 6 vessels in the blink of an eye stalk.
“Captain Amores to all hands, we are about to break our millennia long silence on the galactic stage. We can no longer sit idly by while others are subjected to the horrors that we were when first reach out to the stars. We have become those we loath as we have the ability to assist but sit by and do nothing. No longer. No longer will we watch from the sidelines of our territory as the bullies of the universe prey upon those who cannot defend themselves. Today, the Threen will burn. We will drive an experience of violence and power so deep in their collective memories that they will never lift a claw in aggression to anyone ever again. They have forgotten to fear Humanity, and today we will remind everyone why they should never forget!”
With the simple motion of her hand over a viewscreen, the ship shuddered and the Threen home world was in view. All 6 ships in the battle group let loose their Verridium tipped warheads and then began shelling terrestrial targets with what he later learned were called railguns. The bombardment lasted but a moment then one message was issued over every known comms frequency,
“Threen empire, this is your one and only warning: run.”
Awesome! Thanks for continuing the story.
Has the same vibe as Rorys monologue to the Cybermen in “A good man goes to war”
Sergeant Aragorn : THE COMS ARE OPEN ! Someone named Jav’een calls for aid.
Cpt. Rohan : And humanity will answer.
Humanity: FAFO personified. Awesome stories.
I just found this, superb. I’d like to read more.
Alan Dean Foster, “With Friends Like These” : What will we do with them when there are no more [Threen]?
emulating Golden Age writers like William Tenn and Eric Frank Russell.