This is a good point about how straight people using “partner” instead of wife, husband, girlfriend, boyfriend, etc, to refer to their significant other actually helps normalize the term. If we all used partner then LGBTQ+ people could use it without automatically outing themselves to strangers:
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My assumption on hearing someone refer to their SO as their “partner” would be that the couple in question were not formally married, irrespective of their gender or orientation otherwise.
i mean i’ve started trying to use partner for my bf because it feels closer 🙂
to me, partner says “i am committed to this person”. I also don’t feel obligated to explain that being in a seemingly hetero relationship doesnt erase my sexuality when i come out to people (im bi and afab agender.) partner also says that me and this person are a team, a unit. whatever life throws at us, we take on TOGETHER. and that’s how I think relationships should be. neither of us hides anything or struggles alone, because we don’t have to. 🙂
a lot of the other people my age go through plenty of bfs/gfs/other, so saying boyfriend doesnt feel like enough. im not just going to DROP him when we dont get along, we will work through it. we are long term committed, we talk about a future together, this isn’t just a fun fling. boyfriend doesnt feel like a serious/loving enough term anymore.
also, partner implies there’s more to me than there seems. i say partner, it raises a question in their minds, and maybe they start to be a little more openminded around and towards me. it shakes their idea of me as a cishet person, just a little bit, like the aftershock of an earthquake, and i like that. it makes coming out easier and less unexpected, and it lets me quietly gauge their ideas and opinions about lgbtq+, so i know if they’re a safe person to come out to. it also helps me quietly hint about my sexuality so that i can find other lgbtq+ friends more easily, without having to out myself or dance around it as much. normalizing partner is amazing, i agree, but i kind of like the neutrality of it, and it’s a great way to quietly signal that im not straight to others like me.
tldr, normalizing partner is wonderful but i like it just the way it is 🙂