This post started by autasticanna is all about facts that adults don’t tell you about bullying. This is pretty damn spot on and some other users even added more to it:
Source: autasticanna
Facts That Adults Don’t Tell You About Bullying
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Hmmm… speaking as a Criminologist I would assert that these ‘facts’ are fundamentally incorrect and over-simplified.
Speaking as an educator that has seen these behaviors in action directly, I would assert that criminology is not a relevant field of expertise in this matter, and that the facts presented are closer to accurate than your assessment is.
Dr Seeley Delgado PHD is an expert…. whatever you think you know from an academic standpoint is neither right nor wrong, “bullying” is not a one size shoe fits all, its not always what it seems and its not text book… if you were REALLY a criminologist with a REAL background in human behaviour you would know your statement is fundamentally over-simplified 🙂
Not an expert like Dr. Delgado, but the one on forgiveness is flat out wrong. You can
(and should, if “should” motivates you) forgive somebody who hasn’t apologized, thereby removing the control their actions had over you. The part adults don’t mention is that it hurts like h***. But it’s generally a question of intense pain over a short time, versus less intense pain for years.
Also, forgiveness you “owe” isn’t worth s***. You don’t have to forgive even someone who apologizes, which is why if you do it’s a valuable thing. That’s something adults won’t tell you.
I got so much b***sh** from adults through all the years I was bullied in elementary school. I was generally seen as the problem kid for complaining about it–because I continued to be bullied even after the bullies were given “the talk.” I was threatened with suspension if I ever punched one of the bullies, but the bullies were never threatened with anything, much less faced actual consequences. I still have so much resentment towards certain adults in my life because of those years.
That said, I do disagree with the one about forgiveness. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you stop feeling anything. It means letting go of a debt. And among other good reasons to do it, it’s deeply necessary for your own spiritual health.