Much like the recent post about the Imbalance of Work in Heterosexual Relationships, this post about housework and sexism is just sad. Now obviously it’s not every family, but we have all seen this somewhere. Women and girls often seem to have to bear the brunt of the housework. It doesn’t have to be like this, we can do better. Men, if this applies to you, start pulling your weight! And women, if this applies to you, stop cleaning up for men!
Not really familiar. When I was a little kid Mom did the bulk of the house work but then Dad worked a paying job and the outside jobs like the garden, car maintenance &c and she didn’t so in terms of actual hours she probably did similar or fewer hours. He also cooked a few of the meals each week and washed up &c. Neither myself nor my sister did much about the house besides tidying away our toys but then we were little kids.
By the time I was big enough to reach the sink I was washing up my own plate and cutlery most meals, usually my sister’s as well and sometimes Mom’s (my parents had separated by this point). By that point I was old enough to be trusted to operate the washing machine and dryer so was doing the weekend big wash, but I did need my mom’s help to peg things out on the washing line at first till I grew tall enough to reach it. As soon as I was big enough to lift the vacuum cleaner I was vacuuming most of the rooms and the staircase, also dusting and polishing. I was also doing the ‘heavy shop’, vegetables and tinned food, each weekend so mom wouldn’t have to get much during the week (this was back when supermarkets closed at about 4pm and weren’t open on Sunday). Weekends were also mowing the lawn and similar. My sister did a lot of after school activities so when I got in from school mom would usually be out running her to and from them and I’d have to clean up the house and get dinner started ready for when they got home.
One of my strongest memories from when I was a teen was one Tuesday my mom and sister came in from my sister’s cello lesson not long after I’d finished cleaning up and had dinner ready to go. After I’d put my sister’s cello away I made tea and literally as I was bringing in my mother’s tea to her she complained about how no-one ever did anything for her. This really annoyed me as I felt I did quite a bit to keep the house going and her sole contribution (she wasn’t working at the time, our sole income was some state benefits and alimony from my dad) was to make lists of what I should be doing and the odd trip to the supermarket for bread in the week whilst I was at school. My sister did nothing due to being too busy with her friends and activities aside from accompanying me to the supermarket on Saturday just before closing to see if there were any perishable goods being discounted that she wanted (I’d already gotten the heavy stuff that morning).
I think that this plays a big part in why I do the absolute minimum of domestic work (I live alone so it doesn’t fall to anyone else) and set everything up to be minimum effort.