A redditor asked r/AskMen, “Why don’t men get as much of a thrill over fictional romances as women do? Men fall in love too, so why don’t they enjoy a good love story? And if you do, what are your favorites (TV, books, movies)?” The answers are quite interesting:
Source: r/AskMen
(via: Cheezburger)
Personally, I would be unbelievably flattered if a woman actually pursued a relationship with me. To me, it is a mark of a strong woman, and I am very attracted to strong women (not just physical strength, but strength of character, strength of resolve…). I may not fit the typical male, but seeing a woman taking an active role, pursuing a passion of hers, makes me happy.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be loved for who and how you are. And you do not “grow up” into a “man” by casting that away for the purpose of compromise. Idk where that person got this bs idea.
Let’s not forget that woman also have to take care of herself, have interests, work on her life and goals to be attractive and later take care usually for majority of home and relationship related tasks and planning, it work both ways and it seems the dude sees only one side.
Consider this, a man just described his lived experience and your response was to say you don’t know where he got that idea. He got it from his lived experience, which sounds very similar to mine and a lot of other men’s I’m aware of. Undoubtedly it’s not every man’s experience, we are individuals and I suspect physical attractiveness and resources may mitigate some of the work a man has to put in, but I does seem to be very common.
The moment I saw ‘gendered roles’ and how much this lauded the active vs passive stereotype, I knew it was the same old drivel that’s fed to us about how the world – and our social relations in it – works… aren’t we tired enough of this already? If we keep clinging onto these stereotypes, we’ll just be feeding into the heads of men – and women – what they need to be and nurturing a social structure that creates incels, rapists, victims and perpetrators of domestic violence etc.
Yeah I found it kind of ironic he talks about entitlement when his transactional view of love amd romance is what created entitled behavior in men irl
I’m a dude who has a number of quote-unquote “”stereotypically feminine”” hobbies/interests like reading, baking, etc.
I would love to try dating someone, but most people I talk to are already committed or they are only interested in “friends”/ “coworkers”. Nothing wrong with that mind you, but after a time, it is a bit disheartening that I can’t ever seem to move past the friendzone. Heck, most of my friends are of the online variety as is.
Is it because of my hobbies? is it because I am on the autism spectrum so missing subtle cues? is it because I don’t look like I stepped from the cover of the New York Times hot summer romance novel (6 ft with sculpted abs and a toothpaste ad worthy gleam of a smile)?
Le Sigh…
P.S. as far as reading goes, I have read dozens of fan-fiction stories with romance as a major plot point. Some of them are sweet cuddle fics, others are slow-burns, others deal with heavy topics like Domestic issues, Death of a loved one, and Trauma.
I’m a (mostly) straight cis girl but bcs autism and stuff I’ve lived quite a different life then is the norm
I’ve actively pursued guys and men and it is true that most of them just can’t handle it. I ask for their number; they stutter and avoid to answer. I’ve initiated sex out of the blue; they can’t get an erection, until I back off, tell them it’s ok either way, and they initiate it.
I’ve stood by a bar and said “I wanna fuck u later, do you?” And just gotten open mouthed stares in response, even if I’ve been flirting w them forever. And not bcs they don’t want me; it’s just so obvs they aren’t used to it and can’t even handle it without trying to take back control.
Reading this makes it a lot more clear, and it’s fascinating to philosophise abt the origins or gender stereotypes and how they actively affect us
Even if we act against it (unknown or not) it still permeates our life and way of being. I’ve been so confused on why guys who tried to get my attention suddenly stuttered and backed off when I asked for their number.
I even have shoved my naked boobs in a guys face and he just didn’t react other then become paralysed, even tho he where the one to invite me home
Bonus: asking guys for their d-pic usually makes them very uncomfortable. Even if I send a boob pic first. It’s weird
I am an avid reader.
When I was at school we were expected to read a book each holiday (including half-terms). We were given a short list to choose from. Only once did I fail. I didn’t fancy any of the books enough to go out and get it so I chose one that we already had in the house – Sense and Sensibility. It was the most boring book I ever tried to read. I only got about a third of the way through. The characters were unappealing and I didn’t care what they were doing.
My mother and sisters read romances and sometimes I would try reading one.
They did not thrill be as they did not arouse any emotions in me. I did not identify with the female viewpoint character, not being attracted to men myself. Plus the men generally seemed terrible. Also the ending was always very predictable.
There have been a few I somewhat liked, mainly because they didn’t take themselves too seriously and had a steak of comedy, though sometimes the male character I liked turned out to be the butt of the jokes. There was one by Robert Llewellyn (Kryten of Red Dwarf) about a girl who made a bet she could turn a train spotter into an attractive man.